Things You Need to Understand (but are Too Stubborn to) #2

First, let’s turn to Mary Schmich for some practical advice, shall we?

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen, Baz Luhrmann

Ah yes, sweet sweet advice.

When you ask for advice, are you actually seeking help or have you already predetermined something and you just, in fact, need someone to validate it?

If you truly do need advice and solicit it with an open mind, then good for you! You are not the audience for this post.

But if you’re the type to listen to what you only want to hear, then what you need to do is go record your own advice, listen to it to your satisfaction, and heed it, you know-it-all. This way, if you fail, it’s all on you. But if you succeed, congratulations! Go pat yourself on the back — twice! One for yourself and one for assuming therapist. Whaddayaknow, all you ever needed to get by was… you!

Now if you’re the type who really does need advice (but secretly wants to hear something), go back to Mary Schmich: Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Remember, you came to someone in good faith that he would sincerely help you out. If you don’t like what you hear, be gracious still, and try to understand where the person is coming from. If the person doesn’t give a damn, hold your horses! Don’t accuse the person of not knowing empathy if it hit him smack in the face. Remember, you came for advice, not a meeting of the minds.

Whatever you do, your decision is on you so there is no need to blame other people for whatever consequences arise from your action. You win some, you lose some — that is what you need to wrap your head around.